Wednesday, 7 November 2007

A little Wednesday weirdness

Transferred from MySpace.


Ok... can't claim credit for this one (it comes straight from the BBC website), but it made me laugh so I thought I'd share it...



In a recent survey, the UK's top 10 most ridiculous British laws were voted as follows:


1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down (7%)

3. It is illegal for a woman to be topless in Liverpool except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%)

4. Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned (5%)

5. If someone knocks on your door in Scotland and requires the use of your toilet, you are required to let them enter (4%)

6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4%)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)

8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (3%)

10. It is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls of York, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%)



Bizarre foreign laws voted by those polled included:


1. In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%)

2. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation (8%)

3. A male doctor in Bahrain can only examine the genitals of a woman in the reflection of a mirror (7%)

4. In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%)

5. It is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle in Alabama (6%)

6. In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%)

7. Women in Vermont must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%)

8. In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits (5%)

9. In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)


Thursday, 1 November 2007

Embarrassing confessions

Transferred from MySpace.


One of my online friends - there are about two of them (it shouldn't take you long to work out which one!) has just posted a link to a fantastic song that I had long forgotten about... Mansun, Wide Open Space. It got me to thinking about some of those other lost gems that crop up every now and again... you know the ones that you hear occasionally on the radio that make you stop what you're doing to declare how it's always been your favourite (only to forget about it again seconds after it finishes)...

...and that got me to thinking about some of the bands that I used to listen to (one or two of them a little obscure, most of them long gone... generally a good thing, but there are a couple in there that I wish were still around).

So here it is... my embarassing musical history (starting about aged 7)!


So there were the early days... My first foray into the world of music:

ABBA
I was about 7 at the time, and had the whole back catalogue (taped from friends and family). I also had a Noddy LP - some story about Noddy and Big Ears in Toyland... there was one song on there I loved 'Prettiest Dolly' I think it was called... Hmmm, I wonder if I can find it on the Internet....?



And then there were the teenage years...
I was SO trendy then (or at least I thought I was at the time)!

Bros
I was an aspiring Brosette and saw them in concert. I was convinced I was in love with Matt Goss - REAL love mind you, it wasn't just a slightly creepy obsession. I didn't have the long perm (mother wouldn't let me), but I DID have the ripped jeans (to her deep embarrassment) the Doc. Martins and the Grolsch bottle tops... (except -ironically - I didn't have enough 'bottle' to wear them on my shoes like I was supposed to... I believe I actually carried mine to the concert...)

a-ha
I'm sorry - any girl who watched the Take on Me video was bound to be hooked from the off. Scrub that... any girl who saw Morten was going to be hooked (Damn... at the age of 35 (28 if anyone asks) I'm still salivating at the thought).

Nik Kershaw
Ah... Nik was my discovery. I'd heard and bought 'I wont let the sun go down on me' when it was first released and loved it. Actually, mum bought if for me (I was about 12 so didn't have the cash) for Christmas - I believe she hummed it to the guy on the record counter because she couldn't remember what it was called. One of the main appeals that Nik held was the fact that no-one else knew who he was - which made me trendier than them.

Sadly, after initially disappearing from sight Nik re-released the single and achieved great success... I lost interest. (Although, I did revel in the fact all my (now Nik obsessed) friends coveted the single that I owned - the first release had better cover art than the second and owning it proved you were cool).

Wham
Ah yes... Wham (*sighs wistfully*).

Do you realise that even after watching the 'Wake me up before you go go' video I still argued with my sister that he was straight... go figure...


At the time, you were either a Wham-ie or a Duran-ie. I was in the former category, but being the fickle creature that I was at the time, couldn't actually bring myself to openly spurn Duran Duran totally. Oooh... there were a couple of other categories too (now that I'm thinking of it)... you had the followers of Wet Wet Wet (say no more) and also there were a few (small group this one) Spandau's. Most of us fell into one of these groups except the really strange girls... one such girl openly admitted that she was even into The Jam!!!! (Yes, I know she has less to be embarrassed about NOW, but at the time it was just plain weird!!)



Then there were the slightly older teenage years (think 6th form - age 16/17)
Ha! I really WAS trendy now... I was older for a start - which is important when you're a teenager! I even worked in a record store on Saturdays (so could try out and buy the latest and greatest music before anyone else)...

Um... yes, I did have a dark period which involved buying the Bros Christmas Picture disc for £9.99 before anyone else did - convinced it was going to be a sell out success (only to discover the thing went into the bargain bucked for 99p after Christmas)... but other than that... I WAS COOOOOOOL.

So what did I listen to? (actually I'm not too embarrassed about these ones)...

Then Jerico
Ooooh... a (little) bit political, with a brainy bad boy at the helm. It helped I'm sure that the brainy bad boy had a set of cheekbones that you could slice cheese on, but this wasn't my sole motivation... they made what I considered to be PROPER music. I saw them in concert a couple of times, and after they'd split up (when I was in Uni) I went to see the ex-lead singer (Mark Shaw) play live. Sadly I couldn't find anyone to go with me, so in desperation I answered a dating add in the back of a magazine and dragged my poor victim along instead (probably the last time he ever placed a personals add!)

Mark Shaw...Yum, yum, yum... (salivating again...)

Skin Games
Ah... I was getting trendy again - this was another obscure band that no-one had ever heard off. They supported Then Jerico on tour and were fantastic... and they were Welsh (which made them even better in my eyes because unlike today, there weren't many Welsh bands out there - at least, none that I was aware off anyway). Sadly, after one album (currently in the garage because I don't have a record player anymore) they disappeared from view.

Diesel Park West
I used to do my homework in the dining room whilst listening to the chart show on radio 1. When the chart show would finish the next DJ (Annie Nightingale I think) would start her show off with something slightly obscure (at least it was obscure to me)... enter Diesel Park West (again, now gathering dust in the garage).

The Mission
My really trendy phase (you know you're high on the trend-ometer when everyone pulls a face when you tell them what you're listening to). If you recall them, they were a bit on the mournful side... I remember singing along to them at one point...

Me: "I'm falling into the arms of Nemesis"
Me: "I'm falling into the arms of Nemesis"
Me: "I'm falling into the arms of Nemesis"

(I don't think I knew the rest of the words)

Mother: "For Gods sake, would you just fall and get it over with... I can't take any more of this"


****Mothers are SO un cool.****



Then there were the Uni years
Sadly there are few excuses for these particular artistic choices!



Then, at the tail end of Uni - extending until just after my PGCE
I fell in lust for the first time (big style), and most of these were introduced to me by the man in question... (man was an arse as it turned out... who knew...)


This was the start of my 'female' phase - in so much as pretty much everything I listened to from this point onwards was sung by women and had major piano accompaniment. No reason, just worked out that way.



And FINALLY, I grew too old and grumpy to care what my taste in music said about me (i.e. now!)

Take That
Well, why the hell not! They're actually quite good and "they're such nice lads". To my husband I say: "Who cares if they don't play their own instruments!" (he doesn't count Gary for some reason...)

Lauren Christy
Amy Studt
Shelly Poole

Pretty much any 80's throw back
Interestingly enough though, not the junk I was listening to at the time - instead, I like the stuff that the slightly older (and therefore trendier) kids were into.

Other, assorted odds and ends
I'm not above a bit of Jazz (Frank is clearly the king) or classical (I saw the 3 tenors perform once - admittedly, I was stood on tip-toes, looking around the corner of a porta-loo from outside of the grounds that they were performing in) - didn't matter that the view was obscured... the important thing was I was there and heard them perform live!



So there you go... a warts 'n' all breakdown of my varying musical obsessions through the years...

...brave enough to admit yours? C'mon, 'fess-up...